Bottom of the Ocean

nayx:

STOP SCROLLING: help!  i hate doing this, i know everyone hates this.  but im really short on cash right now and there’s this dragon dildo

(via inozoa)

joecroucher:

Balloons are so weird… “happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”

(via virginized)

teenage girls are so stupid and annoying im glad im actually a 49 year old man 

(via virginized)

meulinkurloz:

meulinkurloz:

my mom told my dad “stop youre spilling pringle crumbs on the floor” and my dad looked her dead in the eye and emptied the can of pringles on the floor and i think my dads becoming a rebellious teenager

(via iwillbelightt)

wurnbo:

how do people wake up in the morning feeling refreshed

(via w-ildwolves)

theconspicuousninja:

glamydia:

hey there delilah, what’s it like in new york city? i’ve been comparing vacation destinations for my family’s next big trip and wanted a secondary opinion 

I TRIED READING ALL OF THIS IN THE TUNE OF THE SONG AND WHEN IT DIDN’T WORK OUT I GOT REALLY MAD. 

(via virginized)

piercelopez:

there are two types of crushes:

1. a casual crush, you look at them and you’re like “wow you’re pretty cute i’d like to get to know you better”

2. absolutely, undeniably head over heels oh my god are you fucking kidding me you are perfect wow i’m literally going to rethink every conversation we’ve ever had for the next 9 hours of my life please love me

there is no in between

(via virginized)

angelsndisorderly:

I fall for anyone who pays even the slightest bit of attention to me.

(via thethinlimbedstudent)